A calling to the bride

What a slow crawl it is with the cross on and off your back like it is in this process of giving over your life and experiencing repentance. One child, yet dearly loved. Should the crawl be this devastating or at some point do I start running? Come on, we can take up our cross! It's constantly laying right beside of us. How long must we stare at the tree and hesitate to allow it's bark to engrave our backs as we deny our selfishness daily and follow the heavenly counselor out of the darkness and into the light where true life illuminates it's bride. Brightness could be birthed in his guidance but we spend a majority of our time standing in the darkness. The Kingdom has come! His will is surely to be done! But what am I doing as one of his children? A new creation? Is that me? Standing beneath your knees and falling on my own to tell you that I want to make your heart my home. I get back up but it's not long before I find myself facedown again because all of my hope must cling to your lamb. Your only son, a miracle and a decedent of David just as the prophecy was spoken. Is that you? That energy I feel racing towards my soul. It's singing songs of freedom and things I'd see as impossibilities. Is that you? Speaking of things I can't comprehend? Is that you? Turning on light switches that my soul has been longing to reach ever since it's existence? My hands are up and when I jump I can barely touch the ceiling, but when I'm thinking that the same God who hung the stars and saves every tear I've ever cried wants to bring healing, now this is a soul's physician worth seeking. The relationship that I share with you is possible because of you. Did you see me when I walked in with nothing in my hands? Were you aware of my lack of understanding? That is why you saved me? If all possible, with gentleness pound some understanding into this mind. I'm willing, yet defined by this brokenness inside. I invite you in this room. Do what you'd like. You are Great in mercy and full of loving kindness? Perhaps hope sits at the edge of this cliff. Should I jump or should I run? Should I live or should I give my life up? The greatest Joy in life is to follow you because hardships and persecution don't have to rotten the mood. When I speak poison begins to ooze. So I choose you..

My lips are deadly and yours are lovely. Intimacy with the spirit will lead me to lips that shall speak for eternity. Dead seeds have been laid and my flesh is attempting to rob me of genuine energy. Deceitfulness, be released from my body. My God, Grab, heal, redeem, step in and create in me a clean and pure heart. Restore to me the Joy of my Salvation.. Let the Holy spirit speak louder than temptations hiss hovering over our necks. You can Deliver us, you can make a hard heart soft again. According to your Great Grace, I ask that you would send rain showers full of a knee bending presence, not because you want our grudging submission but because you long to see us walk as obedient children. Everything pushed aside, this is it. Let prophets prophesy, let children speak, make your bride meek. A calling of submission to authority. Let it be! Your Glory overshadowing all that is happening.

A plea for truth

I can hear passed generations calling out to my generation. They are screaming “Seek truth and forsake your understanding.” I asked them “Why do you cry?” And as they responded I could see the tears in their eyes. In their sadness they replied “Our generations lifetime's were all very well wrapped up in confusion. Now I turn to confront confusion. Who invited you in? Deep inside the minds of young men and woman, you've tortured and abused the people that God has intended to be his sons and daughters. You broke the sweet harmony that danced in the garden in the beginning and you are trying to destroy the soul's of humanity. I now turn to speak to truth. Lies and deceitfulness are no where around you. Peace runs in circles around you wearing Kingly robes and a crown of Glory. You never forsake to be intimately peaceful when all else fails outside of your heavenly empire. I once read how a grown man counted all else dung compared to knowing your love. Another man once said that one day in your courts was better than a thousand elsewhere. So I feel that peace now as it remains after every piece of logical reasoning exhausts my mind. Peace is the solely overwhelming feeling to the point of tangibility. Truth, you never fail to take the hand of reality and lead it to the center of the dance floor. I can see you now, speeding up only to slow back down and continue the cycle of ruling over every situation and every heart beating in every nation across the planet. Truth, give us ears to hear and eyes to see the devastation and beauty in your speaking. Truth, you severely translate the flow of reality and the ocean quiets when you demand it to be silent. Truth, eternally you breathe to speak the gospel that the King above all Kings would come and die for me. What greater news is there than this? That a wretch like me could be seen as holy? Truth, you never run out the back door and for that I adore you and want more. You bring me Joy and direction. Truth, help me abide in you and you in me because I'm just a worthless tree without your fruit.  

My place for all days. (6/1/07)

You happen to be my unchanging beauty in the time of need

And my grace in the morning, oh how I need thee

Days, months, and years pass on by

but you're simply loving time

As your grace dominates my life

And your face seems to shine brighter than this sun that I've been seeing.

But where do I find the meaning?

as I pretend to swim on my floaty in the shallow end.

You're looking at me straight in the heart

Oh, deeper is where you want to go?

I'll be going deeper with you if you continue to be my hiding place through it all.

My place to stand and my place to fall.

Another evening to be humble. (7/24/07)

Another night next to you

glaring into your eyes, soon after the sunset decides to say it's goodbye's

we're going to spend this night inside

under our blankets, listening closely to the tide

The wind is catching up to your ears and it's starting to get cold in here,

but the warmth of you is speaking clear

Another night to hold you, my dear

It seems more and more lovely as the years have brought joy, and sometimes tears,

but what I find most beautiful of all,

is you always seem to be right here

embracing me, holding me near, until the bird's sing our favorite song and bring a sudden joy to our ears

It's the faith that you have shown to me that has dried my tears

And your hands that have stolen my fears.

I am so tired of letting you down

I must be on my knees to embrace a crown.

A Declaration For Every Nation. (8/22/07)

Stop for a moment and let reality fill the air

As time obeys it's every desire

creeping through the walls of every empire

The freedom that our hearts have in Christ tell of rest for our hearts during times that we feel as if we were falling apart.

Our hearts belong to God, the God that even perfection cries to touch

And in those moments where we can't find words to line up with our emotions, lean on Christ for he knows every need, of every heart, in every nation.

Find your rest bed tonight, rest your soul, rest your head for a while. Taste some peace, before your moments of sleep.

Take a deep breath and let freedom invade you,

For if Christ is for you, who could ever come against you?

A horrific evening couldn't keep grace from singing. (9/26/07)

Once upon a time I tossed and turned through the night, as I fought my thoughts that were telling me that I felt much better during the moments where I wasn’t awake. Twas the night where I was repetitively reminded of my court date scheduled to be right before the sun rise upon that seemingly slow coming day. 

I had forgotten why I must go before the judge, but I was told that I was charged for a multiple of past actions. On that night I could not shut my eyes, for I felt as if death was killing my insides.

As the sunrise continued to make it’s way towards the dark and cloudy skies, I found myself preparing my defensive speech for these actions I was still not aware of. I then thought of some powerful and wealthy lawyers I could give a call, but every phone happened to be turned off. I then placed my hands into my pockets and searched for gold, but it turns out that my pockets could only keep my hands from being cold. I gave up on ideas and walked outside of my home, I was surprised that all of the roads were closed. I began to feel my heart become even heavier than it was during my evening where my tears soaked my pillow until it leaked of my distress and my sorrow. I could not find answers to my emotions, or identify why I was on my way to stand in front of the judge.

Once I came upon the courthouse, I noticed that thousands of people were standing outside asking the same questions to each other, eager to find an answer to why they were there.

We all felt chained down as we made our way to see the judge. I was astounded that I was seeing different races from every nation cling to hold a hand. My mind began to wander as tears began to fall down my face. My feet then began to shake as I entered the court, for I did not know why this judge was calling my name. I made my way to the front to see his face, but instead of feeling anger inside of that place, I suddenly felt grace. It was his face that I could not find with my own eyes open. The crowd that slowly moved towards the front began to shout in their own different languages. I could not understand what was flowing out of their mouths, but I knew that this Christ was hearing them out. I did notice that the thousands that entered suddenly took a bow. I fell on my knees and suddenly felt lost, I closed my eyes and then God pictured in my mind a cross. I could feel that the whole crowd was seeing the same cross that I was seeing, as the momentum of grace and mercy made it’s way to our lost hearts. We remembered the impact that Christ’s body took on that cross. It was that day that our debts were paid when there was not even a bond placed for our possible escape. Twas the day where our past was erased and our mornings from then on came along with grace. We left on that day all singing the same song, although we sang in different languages. Twas the day where kindness filled the air and captivated the sinners stare. Twas the day where Our understanding died and Christ’s arose to show us that faith is seen when our eyes are closed.

A child at the table. (10/4/07)

I’ve finally awaken from my dreams,

And before I can even open my eyes to view my surroundings

You’ve somehow surrounded and scorched my insides with this fire in your eyes

That takes me further than the skies and leaves me breathless as time goes by

Why are you searching inside of this broken heart?

Why are you knitting back together what has been broken from the start?

What do I have to offer you, God is Isreal?

How could this even be real?

How am I not embracing this meal?

I sit at the table where you dine, but I refuse to pick up my knife

because my pride continually eats my opportunity to taste real life.

But Jesus, have mercy on this thirsty soul of mine

and continue to invite me with your arms wide open

Let grace meet me at the door and direct me to your table, 

for I know that when I walk in your light, the darkness will tremble.

I run, I walk, I crawl, and I fall, but I pray for the faith to seek you through it all.

I long to drink from your cup, would you search to find my true desires?

I am hungry for your own very word, but so hesitant to swallow it.

I’m devastatingly weak in my mind, strengthen these thoughts of mine.

Take me to that place and hold me still in the midst of your paradise.